Photographer's Advice

I love Pinterest. It's a sweet, benign online bulletin board. I don't make money off these little digital photos I repin, or find online and pin. So, I don't understand why on earth people are getting so buggy. I'm hearing about people suing Pinterest users for pinning their work. Well, put a watermark on it that says "DO NOT PIN!" or "COPYRIGHT" make it clear that you don't want your photo used. 

If you don't, then you simply have to be ready for it to be shared across the internet. Google images pulls up every random image from every random website at the first second of typing a word. People just want to enjoy your photo. They're not making copies and selling them for someone's wall. 

I would be flattered. Chalk it up to free publicity. 

Watermark the photo with your website, or blog, or your name. Claim it. 

Learning that I may have been having migraines all this time. :(

i always dismissed the idea of having migraines, because i never get nauseous... but now, i'm reading that migraines can cause sinus symptoms! i wonder if i've been dealing with migraines all this time, and not had the right medicine to treat them. oh man! well, it does seem like when it gets bad, nothing i take helps. i have a feeling my shoulder and neck tension and the change in weather triggers it. i really need to get out of Cleveland. :( the weather changes every 10 minutes.

http://headaches.about.com/od/diagnosis/a/ahs_sinus_mig.htm

http://headaches.about.com/cs/druginfo/a/triptan_over.htm

Never the Perfect Life

I was just reading an article yesterday about a women who was talking about her lifelong struggle with clinical depression. She dealt with it for years before realizing that it was actually a condition that could be treated. The article talked about the fact that a large amount of women are depressed, and it's not diagnosed, because women don't take care of themselves. They're so busy taking care of other people, and things. This woman had a great life, with a nice house, 3 kids, and a maid, and a great car. She was a stay at home mom, and seemed to have the perfect life.

I think a lot of times we don't think of what's happening inside people's hearts. We look on the outside, and assume that people have it all together. But no one does.

I take a daily antidepressent, called Fluoxetine. I have now, for a few years. In my late 20's, I started realizing that my moods, and tempers were getting away from me. I didn't like who I was when these moods would hit. I would throw things, and (confession time) I would even swear sometimes. My mood swings come and go, and I'll go for a while where I feel like I can handle everything. I can stay calm whatever comes up.... but then something clicks, and I just dive. Everything will get on my nerves, and everything will get me angry. I'll act so hateful, and just treat everyone in the house poorly. I know that's not the way I want to be, so I have to consistantly take these meds. A few times over the past few years, I've stopped taking them, thinking I was ok, and after a few months, I would realize...OK, it's time to get back on. I'll probably be on medication the rest of my life. I'm ok with that. It's worlds better that making my family miserable, and be moody and miserable myself. I don't know if it's PMDD, or just some other type of depression, or what, but I know that this medication helps me feel normal again. It just takes the extreme away, and helps me feel more in control.

Well, even though I'm taking this medication, the past few weeks have been pretty rough, anyway. I'm dealing with so much... Gabey's treatments, transfusions, and dr. appts. having Gideon, and dealing with his being in the hospital, his feeding issues, and just having a new baby in the house. Even with the meds, I can feel the depression surfacing. Call it baby blues, post partum depression, whatever. I've been just sad every evening, and wanting to cry.
I was talking to Jeffie last night, and mentioned how in times like this.... it seems like I can feel "eternity"- like it's just stretching out endlessly, and not going to change. The days seem so long, and boring, and even when we do cool things like we did last night, I'll feel edgy, and upset.

I know this will pass. I have a wonderful life. I know how much I've been blessed. I just wanted to share this part of my life with you.

I like posting about happy things, and I will keep on focusing on the good things in our lives. I just wanted to confide in you all that even though I don't write about the rough times as much, they're there, and I'm just like everyone else going through the good and the bad.

Van Woes

(copied from message board Thursday)

i had a problem with the caravan on wednesday. i've been wanting the brakes looked at for a while, and it finally went really bad on wed.

my back right brake just froze up. i was upset and stubborn, and well, dumb, lol, and i thought i could loosen it up by driving it, eeek.

i made skid marks up and down the driveway, and then if that weren't a clue, i kept going out the driveway and down the street. i stopped when i smelled burning rubber, and i pulled into a driveway.

my sweet old neighor actually chased me down, and ordered me out of the car. yikes. he's sweet, but very demanding. i was so embarrassed, and bugged at the situation, i was pretty curt with him. i pulled the van out to the curb, and left it. later, when i had calmed down, i went and hugged my neighbor, and told himi wasn't upset with him, and i was sorry for the way i acted.

we're going to get it fixed saturday, jeffie has 1/2 day.

Getting Potty Trained (finally)

So many people just said for me not to worry about Gabey not wanting to be potty trained. He was being so stubborn about it that I thought he'd be 4 and still in diapers. Last week he came to me and just asked to go on the potty, and has been doing so well for days! I'm so proud of him. He has a way to go (still hides to poop), but he consistantly stays dry and goes on the potty.

Nightmares

I think Gabey's been having nightmares.
I've been selfish the past month, and watched some of the Barbie movies with him. (I should have waited til he was asleep, but I wanted to see them.) The bad guys and animals are scary, and I think it's affected him. He was asking to watch more, and I was just taking him at his word, but I should have known, he was scared. I've got to be more careful. He's been waking up a lot, and oh man, has that been rough on us. I'm worn out, and have learned my lesson.

Almost Accident Free!!

If you have no children, you may be reading these potty training posts and thinking, "Why is this woman so obsessed with this?" ROTFL. BUT, if you have had a baby and had to potty train, you'll know what a huge deal it is, and how it does tend to take over your life for a while.
Just about every half hour to every hour of the day, we've been working on going to the potty. It has seemed like it's going to take all his life, and then all of a sudden, he's getting it!


i just am soo excited. It seems like he's really got it now.
Yesterday, we took his portable seat with us, and I put it on the public toilets, and he went!! I made him feel better about it, by just saying that i wasn't going to flush. (i'm silently asking the people who come after me to be understanding, lol.) I'm sure you've heard the public toilets, they're sooo loud, I'm a little afraid of them myself, just kidding, but I totally understand his fear.
He stayed dry the whole day!!
Even when he had the pullup on, when we were out, he stayed dry!!

Today he was coming to me and ASKING to go sit on the potty! He knows when he's going to pee, and he does!! WHEW!!


He hid and went #2 in his underwear again today, but i'm ok, we're still working on that part of the potty training.
(I'm actually glad he's not making himself constipated by holding it in for days, lol.)

I'm going to find the picture of the little potty seat. i think everyone needs one, lol, for outings.
They're a lifesaver!! I'm just carrying ours around with us in a duffel bag.

The one i have is elmo and numbers. It's so comfortable for him, and fits on all different toilets, so he doesnt' fall through, ROTFL! I got it at Walmart.
Here is a picture off the internet, it's snoopy, lol.

It's Working.

Gabey is really progressing with the training. It's finally clicking. He'll run yelling, "I don't want to pee on the floor!" ROTFL. (We had some nasty accidents the first day. I knew we would, and I had the mop out and ready the whole day.) He loves his real underwear. My Mom in law gave him Thomas the Tank. He gets skittles every time he sits, and we play with books, and his little Leap pad game. He's getting stickers on his calendar, because he's actually going on the potty, and he's staying dry for long periods. He didn't have any accidents today. I'm so thankful. I know it's not nearly over, but at least some progress is being made.

Drastic Measures (more potty training woes)

Gabey has totally rebelled going on the potty. Soooo, I'm getting drastic. I should have done it in the summer when I first started this annoying journey. I put real underwear on him today. I told him he MUST not go in his underwear! And if he does, he's going to FEEL it. I want it to be UNCOMFORTABLE for him. He's too happy going in his diaper. The pullups are the same way, so I'm going to just use them when we're going out. I'm going to be stressed like crazy, cleaning up after him, but we have to progress with this thing. I'm giving him a skittle every time he sits on the potty. I want him to stop fighting me on sitting. Yikes. I can't wait til this is OVER. ROTFL. My rabbit is potty trained, and my son isn't. LOL.

Why does TV have to swear??

I'm sure he got it from the TV somewhere, Jeff turns on the TV, and watches it when I'm laying down, and stuff; and on New Years everyone was watching "You've got Mail" it's a great movie, but I don't like watching those kinds in front of Gabey. They swear a lot in that movie, (I don't like hearing things like that myself, but I do watch it when Gabey's asleep) and they watched the entire thing with him in the room. I finally got control of the remote and was able to mute out the junk I knew was coming. Then I had to cook dinner, and I have a feeling he heard it then.

Well, yesterday, I had a headache and was laying down, and I heard him and Jeffie in the living room....

Gabey yelled a not good word, I won't print it.
Jeff said, "Where did you learn that??"
and Gabey said it again!
and Jeff yelled, "Stop that!"
so I haven't heard it since.


I'm just so upset. I've been asking for the TV Guardian since he was BORN! We never got it, and this is the result. He's learning words that we don't use in this house.

People say, well you can't shelter him forever.

BUT my argument is that right now...
I know he can't understand what words are good or bad, I know it's not his fault, (and we're not really punishing him, like we would if he was doing something he knew was wrong). BUT I don't want him just parroting things that I wouldn't teach him. When he's older, I know he's going to see and hear things that I can't shelter him from, but I just can't stand hearing those words coming out of my tiny baby kid. It's just sad.
As he gets older we will be helping him understand that there are lots of things that other people do, that we as Christians just shouldn't do, we want to please the Lord.

I got caught up in a show last night. Jeff had it on, and I came in, and started watching it with him, and the people started talking about metro***s, and I without thinking, repeated it because I was shocked, and Gabey repeated it right back to me. I stopped and told Jeff to turn the TV off. A 3 year old doesn't need to be hearing those kinds of things, or seeing those kinds of things. I'm so determined to at least get the TV guardian, so that when junk comes on TV, or the sports have annoying commercials, at least Gabey won't be hearing the swear words, or the crude words. I'd rather just NOT have it at all, but I have to be realistic, and at least do what I can.

He did it! My big potty training boy!

This is TMI. ROTFL.

My son pooped on the potty!!
WAHOOO! Our first step to diaper freedom!

Making Things Right (long post, lol.)

Lately, God has been working on me to talk to my music director. I was starting to have a bad attitude in my heart about some of the new changes. I was starting to feel like the bad kid in the class, because of having to skip some practices and coming in late to others. The Lord wouldn't be pleased with the path my heart was taking, so last night, with my heart pounding out of my chest, I stopped my director, and apologized for my feelings of defensiveness. I went on to let him know some of the reasons that I miss, and told him I was really happy with the way he was leading the choir, and everything. He's really helping the music ministry so much. So, I'm glad The Lord gave me courage to tell him my heart, even though it wasn't easy. He was fine, and thanked me for coming to him. He said I was the first. I just knew I couldn't keep feeling the way I was feeling, and have a successful ministry in the choir.


Also, and this will take a lot more work. I've decided to try not to make hubby be something he's not. I've been trying to change him into a handyman since we got married. I've been leaving jobs for him that I thought he should be doing, and then I've gotten frustrated when I had to do it myself, or when so much time would go by without things getting fixed.

I've come to the conclusion though that to him fixing things and doing handy work around the house is as bad as how I feel about cooking. I'm not good at it, I'm clumsy, and things just don't turn out the way I want.

We had a really good talk earlier in the week, and I've decided that if I can do it myself, I will, and if I can get someone else to help, I will. I'm going to stop trying to leave things for him to do. I've been creating conflict that doesn't need to be there. My husband and I have a fantastic relationship. We have so much fun together, and he's awesome at helping me with Gabey. He really does so much that most husbands don't do. I'm so thankful for that. We have no big issues to work out, and if I can help us have a smoother time of it, I really need to do that.

Jeff works 6 days a week, and every day has some overtime. Plus, he walks for most of it. The job he has is mentally and physically taxing. I need to help this home be a haven for him when he gets home. He needs to be able to come home and rest in the evening. I'm going to help that happen. Lord, help me remember these things I've decided, and help put them into practice, so that our home can be less stressful, and a happy place to be.

cheeky hair (zig zag part, ponytail braids)

I've been up foreeeever, lol. gettin' a little slap happy, so i decided to try a new hairstyle. i've been doing double braids for about a month now, but i usually just braid them with a straight part. so, i changed it today with the crooked part, and extra ponytails. having the braids tends to cut down on the weight on the back of my head, i've noticed. i usually wear a ponytail and thick braid in back, but sometimes it just gets so heavy. i don't remember my hair being this thick when i was in college. it was down past my waist, but very straight, and it seemed a lot thinner than it does now. lol. it's sooo thick and heavy now, i can't keep it as long as i'd like. i'm a waist length person, but so far whenever it gets to the top of my waist now, i chop it.

hated the cloth training pants...

just a note, i hated the cloth training pants, lol. they leaked like crazy.

gabey's not responding, so i'm backing off, and showing him videos, and just offering the potty to him. i was getting us both frustrated trying to force it.

it's been a great weekend. friday was a wonderful picnic with the family, and friday night was a football game. my nephew is playing in the marching band. i'm glad we got to go.

we were on our way to church tonight, and we totally ran out of gas. we coasted to a stop halfway up the off ramp. wah. so we called my sister, jeff started walking to the gas station. chrissy got to pick him up and bring him back, but she dropped him off at the corner so he could come down the ramp with the gas. she left, and....when we tried to start the car, the battery was dead! i had turned the car off thinking that exact thing. oooh, i don't want to run the battery down, and it turns out i did, having the radio on and vent. waaaahhhh. and chrissy already was at church, and didn't get any messages til afterwards. while jeff tried getting in touch with the roadside assistance, i decided to walk with gabey to the cracker barrel, so he wouldn't be so bored. he was so good the whole evening. we spent 1 1/2 hours at the cracker barrel! (after being in the van for about 1/2 hour too) jeff waited on hold for the longest time to get the right number to the roadside assistance, and the lady told him the wrong thing, after being on hold forrrrever. he decided to walk up and hang out at CB while he waited too, so he had to call back... just to get the right number! when he finally got through, they said 45 minutes. yikes, we've already been here for so long. so i told him to call my dad, i was sure he'd be out of church by now too. my dad came, and charged the batteries. we took him and patty to dinner at, you guessed it, Cracker Barrel. lol. gabey was so good the whole time. it's time like these, i'm glad not to have a hellion, lol.

potty experiment #2

i went out and bought cloth training pants and covers today for gabey. i think he's holding out so he can pee in the pullup. so i wanted to make it less comfortable for him, lol, so he would want to pee on the potty.
he looks adorable!

the potty train

gabey cracked me up this afternoon. he must be hearing me talk about potty training him. well he had one of his trains with him, and i just realized today, that he's thinking potty "train", as in the locomotive kind. lol. he asked if he could bring his train to the potty. it was his potty train!!

he did it!!

My big boy!!
This morning
right in the middle of "the hungry caterpillar" lol
he peed on the potty!!
and got some M&M's!

My big boy!

here is my little man in his new pullups!
we've started!
the big day has arrived... the jump from baby to boy.
We just got the pullups and potty seat today.
I had gotten a toddler potty chair a while ago, and he's just too big for it, so i got the seat that fits on the regular toilet.
so far, it's been a wash, lol. i put him on the potty, and he waits til he's off, and then goes in his pullup. He got an M&M, when he first sat on the potty, and hasn't gotten one since. He knows he has to pee on the potty before he gets another one.
I'm thankful he does sit. We bring a book and i read it to him, and then he tells it back to me. I'm not sure how long i should make him sit. It's so exciting. This is the biggest thing we've had to do. He moved to a sippy cup so easily. He still refuses to do anything but play with his spoon, but we're working on it. He gave his binky to a baby at the mall when he was 1 1/2. So, this is it. The last right of passage to being a big boy. I'm going to miss his diapers. my little diadee boy was so cute. I didn't really mind changing him. He also was never too picky, like some babies on when he got changed.
The mom inside me sighs.